


One to One

by PartridgeOnAPearTree



Series: Transversal [17]
Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 10:10:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6075339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PartridgeOnAPearTree/pseuds/PartridgeOnAPearTree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's plenty of horrible already. He won’t forgive himself if he goes as far as to do that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One to One

**Author's Note:**

> ...i'm more than ten hours late for my self-appointed deadline shoot me  
>  also!! you can find me in twitter @irl_junko and tumblr partridgeonapeartree!!!

Hinata’s test is in two days.

 

It’s common knowledge that cramming is bad, that one shouldn’t be studying anymore a day or two before the test itself, but he just can’t stop himself. Every second that he doesn’t use for studying feels like a percent increase to his failure of the test. He feels guilty whenever he does something else—

 

—Well, aside from talking to Komaeda, but that’s not the point here.

 

Failure is not an option.

 

The Hope’s Peak’s staff hasn’t told him yet what repercussion he’ll have to go through to if he fails, but he can take a guess.

 

If he fails, he knows that he’ll most probably get taken back to the Reserve Course.

 

If he fails, their experiment finds its conclusion—a Reserve Course Student can, in fact, cope with the talented students but with immense effort and difficulty. A Reserve Course Student can try to swim and stay afloat but is doomed to fail and get pulled down to the bottom of the sea.

 

If he fails—

 

Hinata feels his hands shake at the mere thought.

 

If he fails, he runs the risk of never seeing Komaeda ever again.

 

\--

It’s almost funny how it seems that Hinata dreads not seeing Komaeda ever again even more so than failing to gain a talent.

 

Maybe it’s because he already had a silent resignation that if he's untalented, then alright, he was born that way. He couldn’t have done anything about that no matter how painful and pathetic that is. But his situation with Komaeda—even if it’s beyond horrible of him to think this way, he still can’t help but feel that there could have been something he could have done for their situation to go differently.

 

He could have confessed fast enough, he could have worked harder to be worthy of Komaeda’s affection instead of being a whining little brat, he could have been in Naegi’s place right now if only—

 

Wait.

 

Wait, no, this isn’t right.

 

Here he goes again.

 

Naegi has been nothing but kind and supportive to him, yet all Hinata’s doing to repay his kindness is to be envious.

 

Envious of Naegi’s talent, envious of Naegi’s kindness, envious of Naegi’s relationship with Komaeda, envious of _Naegi_ —

 

Hinata closes his eyes and clenches his fist.

 

He hates that he's like this.

 

He hates that he's selfish and that he can’t even be happy for Komaeda and Naegi. Hinata knows that Komaeda’s at his happiest whenever Naegi is around. He also knows that whatever he does, no matter how hard he tries, he won’t be able to make Komaeda _that_ happy.

 

Hinata briefly remembers how Komaeda looked like when he was talking about Naegi’s gift to him.

 

Komaeda’s smile was so genuine—it wasn’t that respectful and amused smile that he always has. It wasn’t that friendly and sweet smile either. And while those smiles were lovely too, there was just something different about seeing Komaeda smile because he's actually too happy about something, too pleased, too proud even.

 

Hinata should have just let the loveliness distract him.

 

He didn’t have to think deeper and focus on the fact that he wasn’t the one causing that smile.

 

Hinata doesn’t even know why he's thinking of this now of all times. This issue has been over days ago. He has other things to think about now. He should be thinking of his upcoming test, thinking about the apparent and heavy effect that this test will undoubtedly leave his life, thinking about how this test will basically determine his worth.

 

Right, he should be thinking of those instead of this.

 

Because despite thinking that he could have done something about his situation with Komaeda, he does acknowledge that right now, he can’t.

 

\--

 

Hinata can’t believe that he promised to tell Komaeda everything once he passes.

 

It was easy to say, and it sounded like a great idea then, but now that he thinks about it, is he really ready for that?

 

He’d be finally accepted in the main course if he passes. He’ll finally be there to stay as an actual student with talent, not some outsider who's just forcing himself in. He won’t have to stress about keeping exemplary grades all the time because he’ll finally have an official talent. But if he keeps his promise—tells Komaeda about his feelings, tells Komaeda that he was a Reserve Course Student for a good amount of time—Komaeda will hate him for sure.

 

That combination is a sure way to get rejected.

 

And besides, even if he puts off telling that he used to be from the Reserve Course, there's no way that Komaeda won’t reject him given their current situation at the moment.

 

Komaeda’s in a happy relationship with someone he actually adores greatly. Hinata can tell that he's already contented with that.

 

He scratches his own head and sighs, leaning his elbows on his study table.

 

What was he even thinking when he made that promise? What made him think that that was a good idea in the first place?

 

He knows that he isn’t a genius—he's quite stupid—but maybe he actually has a good reason to think that, at least?

 

The only good thing that can possibly sprout from that is he’ll finally get closure. Once he gets rejected, then at least he's saved from the trouble of hoping for nothing and stressing every ‘what if’ possible. It would hurt, he knows, but he’ll finally have his first step to moving on.

 

Well, ideally, at least.

 

There's also the chance that everything is the same, only, Komaeda now knows and is horribly disgusted with him. Komaeda will change rooms, Komaeda will never talk to him again, Komaeda won’t even like the idea of breathing the same air as him—

 

Just the thought of that happening made something bubble inside Hinata.

 

Fear?

 

He's actually scared?

 

He can’t believe this.

 

It’s ridiculous because Hinata has worked so hard for this, but now, being in the main course doesn’t sound so good anymore if that means that Komaeda will hate him.

 

It’s a price to pay, he supposes.

 

Getting a talent without losing anything in return sounds too good to be true for him, after all.

 

\--

 

“Hinata-kun!” Hinata immediately looks up as soon as he hears the sound of the door opening along with Komaeda’s voice. He smiles a bit even if he's honestly really tired, and the moment Komaeda returns his smile, he feels himself relaxing a bit. “I'm back! You're still studying?”

 

“Welcome back, and uh,” Hinata looks at the book opened in front of him. It’s already obvious that he was studying and Komaeda’s question is nothing but rhetorical, but he closes the book anyway and shakes his head. “Nah, I'm actually about to take a break. We can talk a bit… if you want.”

 

“Ah,” Komaeda immediately looks nervous. “…Are you sure? I mean, I do want you to take a break, of course… but if it’s just because I bothered you—”

 

“No, no,” Hinata already turns around and faces Komaeda as a way to finalize his decision. “It’s my choice. I do want to chat with you a bit. I don’t really have anything specific to talk about though, but I do know I want to talk…”

 

“Right.” Komaeda nods. “I do understand the feeling! I feel that too sometimes… Well, now that I think about it, it’s been a while since we’ve chatted just like this, right? Let’s see, let’s see…”

 

Hinata honestly doesn’t know what to talk about.

 

He doesn’t want to talk about his upcoming test, doesn’t want to talk about Komaeda’s relationship with Naegi, but for some reason, that’s all that is coming to mind at the moment.

 

He observed that that just happens whenever he thinks of what he _doesn’t_ want first—the restrictions make themselves known, and everything else is forgotten.

 

Just like when he was thinking about what to buy for Hope’s Peak’s tradition—

 

“Haha, I can’t believe I'm actually stumped too…” Komaeda’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts. He's lightly rubbing his chin, and Hinata finds himself staring. “Well… How was Hinata-kun’s day? I noticed that all throughout this day, you seem to be in deep thought… only if it’s alright telling, of course!”

 

“Ah, that,” Hinata lightly scratches the back of his head. “It’s nothing too deep… I was just, well, thinking about my test.”

 

Komaeda looked like he regretted asking. He obviously wanted to get Hinata’s mind out of that too, but it’s not his fault that that’s all Hinata’s thinking about recently.

 

That, and their promise, but Hinata won’t mention that.

 

“Oh, I see…” Komaeda slowly nods. “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

“It’s okay, but I think there are other more fun things that we can talk about, right?” Hinata replies. “I mean, it’s true that it’s been a while since we last talked like this… I wouldn’t want to hog the spotlight and just whine at you about my worries.”

 

“But see,” Komaeda bites his lower lip. “I’d want Hinata-kun to be at ease… Besides, I won’t really mind listening to you anyway.”

 

“No, no, let’s talk about something happier, okay?” That’s what Hinata said, but he still can’t think of anything anyway. “Let’s see… Tell me about your day. I mean, it’s probably happy, right?”

 

Hinata doesn’t know why he's doing this to himself. It’s just common sense that Komaeda will talk about Naegi when asked about his day.

 

Doesn’t this just go to show that if he wants Komaeda to talk happily, the sure way is to ask about Naegi?

 

It took everything of him to not get hurt because of that.

 

And he fails when he sees that Komaeda immediately smiles widely, just like that smile that he showed Hinata after coming home during Hope’s Peak’s Foundation Day, the time when he showed Hinata Naegi’s perfect gift for him and even talked quite proudly about it—

 

“Well, there isn’t really much…” That’s what he says, so Hinata wonders why he looks so damn happy. “But ah, Naegi-kun and I were planning to visit his house. He wanted me to meet his parents and his little sister. Haha, I already mentioned to you before, right? That he has a sister?”

 

“Yeah, you did… Why?” Hinata hates that he remembers. He remembers the things that Komaeda used to tell him about Naegi—how Naegi has a little sister, how he and Komaeda buy their clothes from the same shop, how both of them don’t fare too well to the cold—and he doesn’t even know why.

 

Maybe it’s because Naegi’s also his friend, so he finds it easier to remember.

 

But he's pretty sure that it must be because it’s Komaeda who told him.

 

“Ah, so I really did…” Komaeda sheepishly giggles. “Sorry for being repetitive! Anyway, he told me that her name is Komaru. He said that they aren’t too close to each other, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t get along. Haha, according to his stories, she seems like a really nice person! I think I said this before as well, but I really want to meet her soon…”

 

“Well, you probably will. Since you guys are already planning about it.”

 

“Haha, right… It’s kind of embarrassing though… I-I mean, do I really… haha, deserve something like that…? And besides, I'm really kind of scared too to disappoint them.” Komaeda nervously smiles. “What would they say when they find out that Naegi-kun was dating someone like me? I'm sure they won’t be happy...”

 

“Hey, now, what's not to like about you?” Hinata can’t help thinking about how his parents know Komaeda too and the only thing left for them to do is to meet him. He also can’t help thinking that his mother probably already has a good clue about what he feels for Komaeda despite never explicitly stating it. He also tries not to think about how if this situation is just a little different, it should be Hinata’s parents Komaeda is thinking about meeting right now. “I'm sure they'd be so happy that their son ended up with you, you know.”

 

“Haha, you're just being nice now, Hinata-kun!” Komaeda’s nervous smile turns embarrassed, and he lifts his two hands as if to cover himself. “I'm well aware that Naegi-kun deserves so much better than me. That’s something that I have accepted. But something that I realized recently is that he's always going out of his way to prove to me how much he feels for me… W-Wait, this is getting embarrassing. Are you sure you're alright with listening to this?”

 

No. Hinata isn’t. “Of course. Tell me more.”

 

“Okay, okay, if you insist.” Komaeda lets out another shy smile. “Well, alright, I realized… that even if I absolutely don’t deserve him, I should stop saying things like ‘it’s okay if he leaves me for someone better’ because he's been working so hard to keep our relationship strong, and my saying things like that just makes it look like I don’t even care if we drift apart… and that’s not good at all, isn’t it? That’s even bigger impudence! I mean, I should work hard too, right?”

 

“I'm pretty sure you're already working hard.” Hinata forces a smile. “Look at you, you're so happy… and you won’t be this happy if your relationship isn’t something beautiful.”

 

“Haha, hearing that makes me feel embarrassed somehow…” Komaeda lightly scratches his cheek. “But thank you, Hinata-kun! Your support makes me even happier!”

 

“I'm happy to make you happy about that, at least.”

 

And as Komaeda shows him another one of those happy smiles, he feels so, so guilty that he wants to scratch his heart out because he's lying, he's nothing but a liar, he isn’t happy about Komaeda and Naegi’s relationship at all, and if the only way for him to make Komaeda this happy is his support, his fake support, then that just shows how much of a horrible person he actually is.

 

\--

 

Don’t get him wrong—Hinata wholeheartedly wants to give his genuine support and feel happy about the whole deal, but he can’t.

 

He just can’t.

 

After all, how can he be happy about something that constantly makes him feel like he's being burned alive?

 

\--

 

“Let’s go, Hinata-kun?”

 

Hinata nods, slinging his bag around his arm. There's only a day left now before his test. If he were to be honest, he’d say that he isn’t sleeping really well because of the anticipation. He makes a mental note to catch up on sleep and proper meals after taking that test.

 

With the rate he's going, he might as well die because of exhaustion and starvation…

 

“Hinata-kun?” Komaeda waves a hand in front of his eyes. “Are you sure you're ready to go?”

 

“Ah, sorry, yeah.” Hinata nods again. “Guess I spaced out.”

 

“Haha, that’s okay!” Komaeda giggles as he turns the knob of their door, pushing it open after. “Is something on your mind though? It won’t be good if you're already distracted right off the bat early in the morning, so it’s okay if you tell me!”

 

“Nah, it’s nothing new. I guess I'm just getting more and more nervous with each day nearer to the test.” Hinata replies as they both go out of the door, Komaeda promptly locking it afterwards. “But don’t worry. I'm sure a huge burden will be removed from me after I take it, no matter what result it might have.”

 

“Ah.” He hears Komaeda say. He waits for the continuation—there's no way that that’s all of Komaeda’s reply—so he curiously turns to the latter when more than five seconds already has passed and nothing else followed. That was when Hinata realizes that they weren’t alone in the corridor, and he feels his eyes widening in surprise.

 

“…What?” There was Matsuda Yasuke, the Super High School Level Neurologist, with his arms crossed, a judgmental eyebrow lifted at the two of them. Hinata’s so used to just seeing Matsuda during matters related to the experiment that he has found himself unable to register for a while that Matsuda is actually here, existing somewhere else outside of that setting. Truth to be told, Hinata isn’t really sure what Matsuda’s role is in this whole experiment—he's not supposed to step in yet until Hinata finally decides to go with that option they call ‘Project Hope’—but then again, he's a neurologist, possibly one of the researchers too, and Hinata doesn’t really know much. “Wipe off those surprised looks on your faces. You guys look stupid.”

 

“Ah,” Komaeda repeats, immediately nodding, a smile replacing his previously surprised expression. “You're… Matsuda-kun, aren’t you? The Super High School Level Neurologist?”

 

Matsuda momentarily turns to Komaeda, as if scrutinizing the latter from head to toe, but he immediately returns his attention to Hinata. “I'm not here to chat. Hinata, they want to excuse you. That’s all.”

 

“A-Ah, wait—”

 

Matsuda goes away before Hinata can even delivery his query. He lets out a sigh, and as soon as he got over that, he remembers that Komaeda is just beside him. He knows it’s pretty irrational to think, considering that Matsuda wasn’t really obvious about it (though he wasn’t subtle either), but Hinata’s suddenly worried now that Komaeda might be suspicious about something.

 

“Amazing…” Komaeda slowly nods, staring at the space that Matsuda occupied just seconds ago. “I had no idea that you're friends with him, Hinata-kun.”

 

“We’re not, uh, exactly friends.”

 

“Ah, is that so… I guess I misunderstood the situation, haha!” Komaeda turns to him. “What is he talking about though? It sounded pretty important… Looks like you have to do something right now, Hinata-kun?”

 

“Yeah, seems so.” Hinata nods. “Well, if it’s okay, you should just go on ahead to our classroom. I’ll go check whatever Matsuda wanted me to do.”

 

“Alright, I will.” Komaeda nods as well, smiling. “Good luck, Hinata-kun!”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Hinata briefly wishes that Komaeda could be there too to wish him luck on the day of the test itself, but right now, what Komaeda knows is that Hinata’s just going to represent the academy in a quiz bee in another place. It would be heavily suspicious if Komaeda sees that he’ll just take a test somewhere in the campus, so even if he sincerely wants and maybe needs that good luck, he guesses that he’ll just have to suck it up.

 

\--

 

“Ah, Hinata-kun, you arrived.” The researcher greets, and Hinata just nods. He doesn’t really get this person. This researcher usually mocked him, pressuring him too much into getting high grades, but he's gotten especially nicer ever since this whole test preparation thing. “I trust that Matsuda-kun told you what will happen today.”

 

“Not really.” Hinata promptly replies. “He just told me that you guys wanted to excuse me… but aside from that, there isn’t really anything.”

 

“Were you with someone else?”

 

“Well, Komaeda was there… Why?”

 

“I just instructed Matsuda-kun to settle for not saying anything if you had company. We are not going to do anything too secretive today, however. I just thought it was a necessary precaution.”

 

“Okay, so… what are we gonna do?”

 

“I was told to orient you about tomorrow’s… event. I trust that you have been doing your own preparations? Or have you forgotten that tomorrow is an important day?”

 

“Of course I didn’t forget.” Hinata furrows his eyebrows. “There's no way that I will forget.”

 

“Of course, indeed.” The researcher nods. “Let me say it anyway. Test-taking is a talent that allows a person to pass even without exemplary intelligence. I remember when I myself was but a student… my own teacher said that passing a test does not require one to be overly smart, but instead, tests require one to be wise. Time management, eliminating choices, careful attention to details—this is the reason why our deliberation of you resulted to this. Allowing you to take a final test to determine your possible title which is the Super High School Level Test Taker, that is. This is the first time for a Reserve Course Student to possibly cross over to the main course, so that is why this is a big deal to all of us.”

 

Hinata nods, prompting the researcher to continue.

 

“It is pretty simple.” The researcher proceeds. “The test contains numerous subtests: Mathematics, Language, Reading, Science, General Information, and Logic. Just to warn you—the Language subtest will require you to write an essay. The topic, I myself still do not know, but I am telling you this so you can mentally prepare yourself.”

 

Seems like typical subtests, not that Hinata’s saying he's already confident about this. If anything, it’s quite far from that. He feels like his nervousness can eat him alive, especially when the researcher mentioned the General Information subtest.

 

With General Information, after all, you just never know. It’s everything under the sun, and Hinata always, always feels like he never has read enough.

 

“As for the scoring of the test—one-fourth of your wrong answers will be deducted from your total correct points, and in order to pass, you must get a score of sixty percent, at least.” Hinata nods as the researcher speaks. That correct-minus-one-fourth-wrong part sounds pretty intimidating, but he decides to just ignore the feeling. “The test will take seven hours—one hour in each subtest except for Mathematics and Logic that will have an hour and a half instead. Of course, you are allowed to bring some snacks because the test will start from six in the morning and end at one in the afternoon.”

 

Hinata wonders if he’ll still have the appetite to eat snacks while taking the test.

 

“That is pretty much it. You only have to get a minimum of sixty percent, and there you go with your secure position in the main course. As I said, it is pretty simple. I am fairly certain that even you can do it.” That sounded really backhanded. “And lastly, should you fail the test…”

 

Here is the most important part. Hinata finds himself holding his breath. He was even more nervous than before, and even if the researcher paused for merely a couple of seconds, it felt like hours of waiting for Hinata. “Should you fail the test, then you have two options. First is to go back to the Reserve Course… and I am sure that you would not even begin to consider this option.”

 

“Of course not.” Hinata replies for what feels like a long time. “So what is the second option?”

 

“If you fail and do not want to go back to the Reserve Course,” The researcher smiles. “You are going to have to participate in Project Hope.”

 

\--

 

Project Hope.

 

Even Hinata thinks that that option is too drastic. They say beggars can’t be choosers, but admittedly, if there's a lighter but effective option, then he would want to go to that option first. Project Hope is like his last resort, really.

 

There's also the fact that the concept is still pretty alien to him.

 

All he was told about it—and in passing, too—is that it involves a bit of surgery. It apparently will give him a talent somehow—he doesn’t really get it—but no matter how dubious the whole deal sounds, Hinata doesn’t really doubt its safety.

 

Hope’s Peak Academy is a highly competent school—with competent students and competent staff—so if it’s just safety, then Hinata doesn’t feel the need to be doubt their abilities regarding that. But no matter how safe the practice is, Hinata’s still pretty sure that he prefers to exhaust all other options before letting anyone cut him up.

 

Not to say that the possibility is completely out of his mind though.

 

Aiming for talent can be pretty scary because he feels like he’ll do anything for it.

 

After all, if he fails the test because of his incapability, and really the only way for him to get a talent is to let himself get cut open, then he’ll have to deal with it.

 

\--

 

**Recipient: Naegi Makoto**

**Message:** Hey! Sorry for the bother. I just remembered you wanted to see me before my test, so… It will be on the same day I told you, and it’s at 6 AM. It’s okay if you can’t make it. I mean, 6 AM is really too early, after all. Thanks for always supporting me though. You're a really cool guy.

 

\--

 

“Oh, Hinata-kun, welcome home!” Komaeda was on his bed with a book on his lap, but he looked up as he greeted Hinata. “How was your day? Did Matsuda-kun send you on an errand? Hinata-kun was excused the whole day, so I decided to photocopy my notes… even if, you know, my handwriting is pretty bad… I hope it helps you, at least.”

 

“Seriously?” Hinata blinks. “Hey, thanks… You didn’t have to go through the trouble of doing that.”

 

“Haha, it’s nothing, really! I just thought that it’s something that even someone like me can do, so I decided to just go for it.”

 

Komaeda’s bag is placed on the floor, leaning against one of the feet of the double-deck. Hinata watches as Komaeda reaches over to it to get the notebook that he's talking about, and he doesn’t stop himself from smiling a bit as he takes it from Komaeda.

 

“Thanks, really.” He skims through it just to see what lessons he missed just by missing today. “I mean it. You really didn’t have to, but thanks.”

 

“I wanted to support Hinata-kun at least before he goes to his test.” Komaeda smiles. “It’s tomorrow, right? If it’s okay, can you tell me what time so I can wish you good luck on the day itself?”

 

Hinata remembers his wish earlier this morning.

 

This is what he selfishly wanted.

 

He selfishly wanted Komaeda to wish him luck on the day itself—that’s something that he knows for sure—but of course, he can’t allow himself to be illogical. Komaeda can’t see that whatever business Hinata will go to will only happen in one of the offices in Hope’s Peak. After all, if that happens, Hinata will probably die in nervousness then and there.

 

“No, I’ll…” Hinata desperately thinks of an excuse. “I’ll leave earlier than you because the test is early, so… if you want to wish me good luck, it’s okay if you just do it right now before we sleep.”

 

“Oh…” Komaeda looked so disappointed. Hinata wanted to take back his words, but he controls himself. “It’s okay though, Hinata-kun. I won’t mind waking up a little earlier than the usual for tomorrow. I mean, I'm sure it’s an important day to you, so…”

 

“No, no, it’s really okay. I don’t want you to go out of your way to wake up earlier than the usual.” Komaeda was frowning, and Hinata feels his guilt worsening. “Look… Just tell me what you want to tell me right now, okay? Even if you say it now and not tomorrow morning, I know I’ll still keep them in mind as I'm answering the questions… so just tell me. I'm listening.”

 

“Alright.” Despite saying that, Komaeda still seemed hesitant for a while before finally nodding. “I wanted to tell you that you have been studying for the test for the entire week… and not only that, even before this whole deal, you have been quite diligent. That’s why I think that there's nothing to worry about and that you'll answer the questions really easily.”

 

Komaeda looks up to face him after that, a small smile on his face. “I know I'm not much, and I also can’t do much, but I want Hinata-kun to know that whatever result this test will have—though I'm confident that it will end well anyway—I’ll still be your best friend. I’ll make sure to cheer on you the hardest no matter what, Hinata-kun. After all, I'm confident that you'll bring honor to Hope’s Peak with your abilities.

 

“You’ve been preparing so much for this. Despite that, it will be over before you even know it, and I'm sure that you'll be feeling relieved after. Once you go home tomorrow, do you want to hang out somewhere, Hinata-kun?” Komaeda immediately looks nervous. “I mean, I'm not forcing you… It’s just that I’d want to help you take your mind off it for a while.

 

“I know I said earlier that I wanted to wish you luck, but now that I think about it, someone talented like Hinata-kun wouldn’t need to rely on luck.” Komaeda giggles. “I'm really sorry, okay? It’s not my intention to insult your abilities by saying that I'm wishing you luck or something… It’s just that luck is all I have, so… even if it’s measly, I hope you understand that that’s all I can do.

 

“…Ah, I'm sorry for rambling! I talked so much that I hadn’t given you a chance to reply at all!” Komaeda sheepishly smiles. “If you want, you can speak now, Hinata-kun. I'm sorry.”

 

Hinata actually can’t find his words. That’s the real reason why he was being unresponsive. Komaeda’s words, accompanied by that signature soothing voice, instantaneously erased all his worries. The orientation this morning admittedly made him feel more anxious especially when he found out that he really will either have to go back to Reserve Course or allow himself to participate in that suspicious surgery if he fails.

 

But now, even if he's nothing but an average person, he feels like he can face the test head-on and actually do well. Somehow, it’s as if he will get a result that will make himself—make Komaeda, his parents—really proud. He feels like he's standing on the edge of something good, and tomorrow will be when he’ll finally plunge in once and for all.

 

It’s true. He has worked so hard for this. All those sleepless nights spent either studying or stressing about good grades, all those hours that made his eyes hurt because he was staring at his notes and textbooks for so long, all the lessons he asked Komaeda to explain to him—

 

They will all boil down to this test.

 

He’ll pass.

 

He knows he’ll pass.

 

It’s scary because he hasn’t been this confident in a long while, but he’ll pass.

 

He’ll make sure he’ll pass.

 

He moves closer to Komaeda and wraps the latter in a tight embrace. He's pretty worried because he has done this too recently, and there's a chance that Komaeda is already feeling creeped out or uncomfortable but is just forcing himself to be civil, but somehow, he can’t bring himself to stop.

 

Because at this moment, hugging Komaeda feels so comfortable and right, and he can’t bring himself to stop doing so soothing.

 

“Thank you, Komaeda.” He forces out. He can’t believe that he's feeling a lump in his throat now. “Thank you, seriously. You… believe me more than I believe myself, you know. I don’t understand why you're so supportive because I'm… just me. I'm nothing good. But right now, you saying those words… somehow, I feel like maybe there's something I can do, after all. Maybe there's a chance for me to actually find something I'm good at, after all. So I’ll do my best… I’ll make sure to do my best tomorrow.”

 

Komaeda nods, his arms wrapped around Hinata too. The ends of his hair tickle Hinata as he continues speaking. “Thank you for always encouraging me and believing in me, Komaeda. Right from the start, you’ve always been like that… even when it was our first year in Hope’s Peak, you’ve always been like that… I know this will sound weird, but… I'm sure things would be different if I didn’t have you. Different in a bad way, of course. After all… there's no one else who believes in me as much as you do.

 

“And of course… of course, I’d love to hang out with you tomorrow. I feel like it’s been a while, after all… so let me treat you, okay? It’s like thanks for being so supportive… and for being there for me.” Hinata feels his hold on Komaeda tightening, and he wants to stop because for all he knows, he might be hurting the latter. “You’ve always been so kind, you’ve always been appreciative of me, and that’s why I—”

 

Hinata’s mouth immediately closes.

 

He's slightly shaking—he hopes Komaeda doesn’t notice—and he blinks repeatedly.

 

What is he saying?

 

What is he going to say?

 

He almost—

 

“…Hinata-kun?”

 

—almost said something that he shouldn’t.

 

“Sorry, I got distracted for a bit.” Hinata pulls away because he feels like it will be wrong if he continues holding Komaeda. “So as I was saying… because you were so nice to me, I, uh, have always been thankful. So I thought I should take this chance and say thanks for everything.”

 

“Ah.” Komaeda slowly nods. “Oh, okay. You have nothing to thank me for, Hinata-kun. If anything, I should be the one thanking you for always putting up with me even if I tend to become a real handful… so thank you too for everything.”

 

“You're not a handful.” Hinata pats his head. “I enjoy being with you.” Even if most of the time, it’s painful.

 

Komaeda smiles, and Hinata wishes he can look at that sight tomorrow while taking the test. “I enjoy being with you too, Hinata-kun.”

 

\--

 

The next morning, Hinata wakes up as early as five AM. He stupidly stared off into space while taking a shower though and accidentally wasted thirty minutes inside. He's still pretty nervous, but he's doing his best to hold on. He's just going to repeat Komaeda’s words in his head, and he’ll be slightly calmed down… just slightly, but it works.

 

_There's nothing to worry about._

_You'll answer the questions really easily._

He shoves some snacks in his bag. Just a variety of light biscuits and a bottle filled with water. Truth to be told, he doesn’t know if he’ll still have time to eat snacks while answering the questions because he’ll probably be too nervous to think of something else that is not the test.

 

Snacks, check. Pens, check. Scratch papers, check. He's pretty sure that scratch papers will be provided anyway, but he’ll bring some just in case. He runs over through his things one more time to make sure that he hasn’t missed anything.

 

His gaze darts over to Komaeda’s sleeping figure. Komaeda is still resting peacefully, an equally peaceful expression on his face, and he's wrapped with a blanket up until his chest. Hinata feels bad for staring like a creep, but this view significantly relaxed him, and it made him feel like he has to go back victorious.

 

He has to pass.

 

If he wants to go back to this peace, he has to pass.

 

He clenches his fist because no matter how determined he is, no matter how confident he was last night, the truth still stands that he doesn’t know for sure what will happen. The future is a scary thing—no one actually knows what's waiting for them—and if he were to be honest, aside from nervous…

 

He's also really scared.

 

Against his better judgment—and he’ll probably hate himself even more after this—he leans towards Komaeda and presses his lips against the latter’s forehead. He momentarily looks at Komaeda’s slightly parted lips, but he moves away before he does another mistake.

 

He's plenty of horrible already. He won’t forgive himself if he goes as far as to do that.

 

\--

 

Hinata was pretty surprised to see that Naegi’s already waiting in the corridor. Again, he wouldn’t mind if Naegi just didn’t show up because six AM really is too early, but he appreciates it. Naegi really is just that kind—he wouldn’t mind inconveniencing himself just to offer someone moral support—and that’s probably why Komaeda fell in love with him.

 

Hinata ignores the familiar burning sensation in his chest.

 

“Hey… You're here already, huh.” Hinata smiles a bit. “Thanks, really. You didn’t have to.”

 

“Don’t worry, Hinata-kun. It’s my pleasure to be there when you need it.” Naegi nods, smiling back. “I take it you're nervous, but I'm pretty sure you have everything under control. Komaeda-kun always talked about how organized you are, and I don’t doubt his words… Both Komaeda-kun and I believe in you, Hinata-kun.”

 

“Hey, thanks… We were talking last night, actually, and he said the same thing.” He forces himself to think of the things Komaeda said last night instead of the painful feeling in his chest. “So I’ll do my best… I don’t want to let you guys down.”

 

“There's no pressure. Just do what you'll normally do, and we’ll just be here cheering for you.” Naegi smiles again. “I know how important this test to you, that’s why I'm confident that you have prepared so much. And of course, someone who has worked so hard undoubtedly will not fail... I know you'll pass, Hinata-kun. I'm sure of it.”

 

“Thank you…”

 

“That’s why, here. I have something for you.” Naegi fumbles with something from his hoodie’s pocket. Hinata watches him and sees that he's holding a pen in his hand, and the next thing he knew, Naegi already has handed that pen to him. “Komaeda-kun gave me this pen a few months back. I never really used it before, but he said that I should use it for important things because it’s a lucky pen. I believe that Komaeda-kun would want me to lend you this for this test, so… please use it, Hinata-kun.”

 

“Thank you.” Hinata grasps the pen tighter in his hand and nods. “I’ll make sure to use it. At least this way… I’ll feel like he's with me. I feel like you guys are with me.”

 

“That’s a nice thought, Hinata-kun.” Naegi’s smile widens. “Well then… don’t let me keep you. It’s better if you get acquainted with the atmosphere of the testing area. I think that will help you lessen your nervousness.”

 

“Yeah, you're right.” Hinata nods, pocketing the pen. “Thank you so much, Naegi. Let’s talk again when all of this is over.”

 

Naegi nods, chuckling. “I’ll be looking forward to that, Hinata-kun.”

 

\--

 

And so Hinata enters the testing room.


End file.
